Human Condition Thoughts

It's amazing how far humans will go to make others feel terrible, when really, they just feel terrible themselves and want to redirect that terribleness to someone else. The projection skills of humans are amazing. I wonder if it is because we see fault in ourselves in some way, and it makes it easier to see it in someone else. Or perhaps, we truly do project and interpret their actions in another way. Who knows. It is hard to say. The only thing we can really know in this world is ourselves, and we can get so lost in doing so that we see pieces of ourselves in everyone else, especially the pieces we hate, and it seems so much easier to eradicate them in someone else than in yourself.

Terrible as a Human Creation

It's interesting to ponder how many things we take as simple concepts that turn out to be not so simple in their fundamental form. Take, for example, the word deserve. One of my favorite quotes I've heard is something along the lines of, "Deserve is Satan's favorite word." and I tend to agree. It is. It's not a concept that is reflected in nature. A plant doesn't deserve a flower. A bird doesn't deserve to fly. These are fundamental things that are part of the existence of each of them. But for humans to deserve? No. It is a human creation as part of the tug-of-war of power and entitlement (another human creation). All of these things come with the higher brain, the ability to think in the abstract. Unfortunately, we have tried to turn that abstract into reality and build concepts, pillars in the building blocks to humanity, and we have ended up with a great deal of things that supposedly mean everything, but in reality, mean nothing. We have also ended up with things that are powerful, or "terrible" if you will, that are dangerous, and yet, they are tossed around as if they mean nothing too. Terrible is an example of this. The things we often say are terrible in nature aren't. Natural disasters are part of the ebb and flow of life. Nature is indeed vicious, but it is all part of the ecosystem and structure of said nature. Human nature, on the other hand, is a mess. Humans are given free will, the ability to think with the abstract, to use that abstract to build morals and be guided by them, and to choose among options and act accordingly. There are steps in this process that require the higher brain. And yet, despite these, the capacity for terrible is still a viable thing. I am not talking about mental illness, necessarily, but more so, the sinister calculations that go into birthing massively terrible things. Take, for example, the Holocaust, or any genocide for that matter. It may have been one persons, or a group of peoples, idea to take these horrible actions. But, it was another group of people who often did them, who didn't agree, but still did. This capacity for terrible is the one I speak of. The fact that humans can choose to do this, despite the red flags going off, and continue on with life. This exists because of the way the brain was designed, it was designed with this in mind. These things in our brain allow us to act in such a way with minimal effect. Cognitive dissonance allows us to think one thing and act another. Belief perseverance keeps us going despite facts that prove us otherwise. The just world phenomenon keeps us believing in some sense of cause and effect, and the terrible being caused is being done to those who deserve it's effect. Do you see how many human concepts I have to use to explain this? These things that are not reflected in nature, but must be used to explain human nature; it highlights just how far humans have gone. We have gone far in good and bad ways, but I tend to believe the bad is more predominant. We have the capacity to be terrible, and we choose to be. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not to say that we don't always want what is good -- I do believe we do and no one wants bad, but this is a matter of choice in a different perspective. This is one of those things where you know second guessing was happening, but still, the brain activated the defense mechanisms to allow it to happen. The calculation that goes into it is astounding. And it is scary to think, this, this is just a part of the human nature. This is what comes with awareness and obliviousness at the same time. It's maddening.

I need to refine these thoughts, but here they are for now.

Introduction

This last year has been eye-opening. I have learned a great deal about myself and the world. How I fit into it. What the world is. What it will never be. What I will never be. What I am, or, what I perceive myself to be at this given moment. It's overwhelming to be so aware and unaware at the same time, to realize just how much you know and how much more you don't know simultaneously. It's like being stuck in a void, a recursive loop; it starts and ends the same, but you can't seem to get out of it. No one seems to really care to understand either. One of the best quotes I have heard is that people can only meet you as far as they have met themselves. This is very true. I tread in the deeper parts of the mind, and bringing others to understand requires them to go deeper than they usually want to. Although, I can never make someone else understand, I can only present to them what I am understanding at that time with the best use of words I can possibly orchestrate. That is not so easy either. The battle is understanding what is going on inside your head enough to tag it with words and put those words into coherent sentences, and then those sentences into an argument, and that argument into a presentation that adequately represents what you are trying to say to the best of your ability... and then, it is on them to understand, and that is a whole other mess of problems... it is not easy. None of it is. We take for granted communication as some simple idea we all understand. And it is odd, because we all do understand it, but we can't seem to ever do it. One part is always missing, from one person to the next. Existence in itself is an interesting phenomenon; it's a single thing we all seem to somewhat understand, yet, it's parts are so esoteric and erudite that we can't even understand what we are really doing while existing at the same time. Is that where the subconscious steps in? Or is that just where our lower brain is programmed to keep us going on the most fundamental level? But does our understanding of existence include this conscious or not? Even that is a hot topic we run into when it comes to living wills and where to draw the line for those who teeter on it. You begin to realize just how fragile this sense of existence is, and how little sense it truly makes. Part of the curse of this existence is the inevitable isolation that stems from being trapped within our own body in this entire experience; we are along for the ride, and perhaps we are in charge of it too, but we cannot guarantee our reality or our perception of it no matter what we do. If our conscious is part of our existence, where do we draw the line in guaranteeing our existence? Can we draw a line in our conscious? It becomes a slippery slope; where does one define the line between perceptive reality and perceptive objective reality, if it even does exist? If we can't guarantee our conscious, can we even guarantee our existence? Isn't this the biggest puzzle of them all? We spend so much time as a species trying to understand why. The simplest question of all -- why? Why am I here? Why are we here?

So, these ramblings will tackle many of the fundamental philosophical and psychological problems I encounter and ponder. I hope this will serve as a good outlet for my thoughts and a place for my intellectual stimulation to roam free. Perhaps I will learn something, perhaps I'll just go more insane. Who knows. For now, I know, fundamentally, I know nothing, and there is so much more to learn.